sparks.

I am full of…ideas? desires? distractions?

My writer brain is firing on all cylinders…and shooting off in a million directions. Fireworks. Pretty in theory, but in practice, the lights are blinding.

I’m feeling frantic, like I have to write ALL THE THINGS right this very moment. Like my blog posts have to be perfect. Like I need a plan.

Yes, plans are great, and I’m learning to focus on putting the work in to get more done with my writing. But the fear of being imperfect has a way of holding me back, and all I’m left with is the chaos of my mind as it tries to catch up with all of these sparks.

It’s exhausting. Maybe it’s a side effect of anxiety, maybe it’s a cause. All I know is that I have to find a way to merge my badass idea-generating machine with my inner worker bee. I’m getting there.

I’ve pulled away from social media. Too much clatter. Noise. Distraction. It can feel a little bit isolating, but I’m also learning to live with the bursts of inspiration, to catch the glowing sparks and harness them without being burned by the terror that sometimes comes with creation.

I still haven’t come up with a word to define a year ahead. Maybe I don’t need one. Maybe all I need are the words already living inside of me.

[sic]

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