I made soup. It was awesome.

Making soup is one of those brilliant meditative experiences that silences the noise in my head, the echoes of haters heard ’round the world. Chopping, dropping, stirring, seasoning, simmering, slurping. SO GOOD.

STEP ONE: Pick a veggie, any veggie.

I chose a bunch of kale, a pound of mushrooms and a big bunch of celery. So earthy and amazing, each smell bringing me back to myself. Nutrients abound!

Pretty!

STEP TWO: Put the veggies in a pot, stir it up, nice and hot….
A little olive oil, some salt and pepper, and let ’em sizzle for a bit.

STEP THREE: Add carbs, and, you know, soup.
Organic vegetable broth in a box, perfect for lazy soup making. I put in 6 cups, along with a bag of tortellini. INSOUCIANT LIKE A BOSS. Let simmer for a good long while, til things are soft but not mushy. That’s just gross.

STEP FOUR: Pour in a bowl, top with fresh grated romano. Fancy!
Also, make a sandwich, will ya? An English muffin, a slice of cheese. Show a little ambition, dammit! (Also, I am aware this has a whole lot of cheese in it. It was one of those days, man.)

STEP FIVE: OM NOM NOM!

Sip, slurp, breathe, relax, nourish. YUM.

[sic]